Me!! I know who I am! I'm the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude! You the dude who don't know what dude he is!!!

Yeah, and so do you! Would you believe that a guy with a face as beautiful as mine buttocks is going to get married to a girl whom is even sweeter than the oh-so cliched apple pie (except that in this circumstance, no cliche and/or description could fit better)? And he's not just ugly, he's fat, has a HUGE beer gut, smokes, is butt ugly, is short, is about as intelligent as a doorknob [which the judges are still undecided upon, they ('handsome' and the doorknob) tied in the last round, hence, the ABOUT], is butt ugly, and, oh yeah, is a no-good deadbeat.

A real keeper no doubt. Ah, what possesses people at times, I cannot fathom. It must be his 'sparkling' personality (which exists exclusively in the 8th dimension of the constellation Zlorg, and no where else).

No chains for the above, tis beyond me.

Me!! I know who I am! I'm the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude! You the dude who don't know what dude he is!!!

Just thought a little anecdote from an excellent movie would cheer you, mine reader, up, after the harrowing news above. (Did I mention that he's BUTT ugly?)

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

When will the freons be molded onto mine head? And do you remember the cartoon Bonkers? Man, that was a hoot!

Can a destroyer ever be part of the Solar System? Would Mercury be ever so kind to step aside and allow for such misgivings of the centuries??

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Wife-beaters should be drawn and quartered, would you not agree? If you do not, take Lez Grossman's advice to the Flaming Dragon gang, but make sure you take a step back first. Would'nt want you hurting yourself (just kidding, I actually would).

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Why should I want a replacement if the product I just received has plastic attached to it? Its FOOD! Would'nt a similar replacement be made with the same 'exacting' standards? Give me my refund!

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Why do we seek senseless things, like beauty that fades? I would MUCH rather have a companion whom can hold a proper conversation than one which is an airhead, a mere 'floozy' (apply Jack Black's accent in Nacho Libre for full effect). Would you not?

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Cantankerous behaviour, thats what we have to stop! Conversation, replace all humans with dogs! Rawwrrrrrx3!!!

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!
Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!
Wheres my chains???!!!