The sphincter of reprimanding a thing of measure (not famous amos cookies, that would be weird)

Contrary to what most cats believe, the nuclear fallout is approaching. When the cockroaches do not survive, then you know the rats will do so. Or they may not. What if Zoltan the intrepid mongrel decides to do something?

Never thought of that, did you?

And how about the essence of thosai, which we all parade around daily? Wouldit be valid to leave a snake and rodent together? Would not the fighting fish get to the both of them?

Can Parameswara be from Goa? Dude, yeah man, and then take it out before you go to sleep, or it will loll around in your skull.

The Finickiness of Control Panels

The pulsating temples upon the air are caused by an overdose of coffee. Or was that caffeine? How about absinthe? Would that count? Heres to green goop! And if Beng Hui ever finds that game, SLIMEWORLD, for Sega Genesis, dont stand between me and the console. I'll kill ya. Just kidding, I'dprobably let you go first. Unless pi does NOT equate to 3.142... which it does not.

Doink!

I'll skip the chains, chain lovers. So sorry, dont post any hate mail! But then again, I love you guys, my loyal fan base! How about giving it up for Abe above!!??? He's my mudokon sized hero. They aren't too big, so, as with the Big Bang and theory of relativity, I should have several more (role cages, roll cages, and swiss rolls as well)

Heres to that badak berlapis swiss roll! Dont take it to heart kid, SHOW THEM!! Haha, Danial, if you could see me now, you ###wipe! I'd beat that stupid grin off your face!

Is the is the is, the bad engrand's is...

Well, is this the posts the very bads Engrand...after the Dominos is the ban is the readings on the books at the terminals. After is thats the happens, is all the go the hill downs.





I is the painings very the bad is. The chains is the wheres?!!!





And is the pregnant whales is the bites me the is the is? Why is she the bites me the is the is!





And is the Nancy Drew's the mamak is? I is the prevented from the playings the XBOX 360 is because mother is the watches this movies is the is. Is the sad.





Is the prace the goods? Yes, I is the says so, but is the very sads with the potential catchings. I is very feels the bads. Now I is the drown the sorrows with 4 hours of the Space is the Dead the is (Dead Space). Is the necromorph bite my head!!!



I is the feels the pains for the single mothers!



Do we haves the hearts??



No, we is not, but why should I give money to a junkie just so he is the leavings me the alones?

100,000$ cars, everybody got it!

In the counter in the closet, and I say I didn't do it with my face covered in chocolate!

Must be some covering, especially when placed into the proper context. Eh?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Macadamians and brazil nuts. And then even more so, the allocation of resources for the repairs aboard the USG Ishimura. And the terrible necromorphs and 10 kilotonne Leviathan.

I like football. Lionel Messi cekap gila!

I am SUCH a nerd!

Cheers!

I'm a Lead Farmer **********er!!!!

Yeah I am! And do you know how awesome it is to be one??!!! You get to blow stuff up, shoot and miss the sides of a barn, and just act all crazy!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

The other day, I received a call from Yelizer. He said he wanted his space clippers back. NO!!!! And then, the mind possession began, and before I knew it, the line was riding up my crack!!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

1 down, 1 more to go!!! Haha, yeah, now you know that you dont mess with the ex-universe trimmer! When will the nano-tyrannosaurus rex win? When it learns to NOT mess with an angry mama T-Rex, thats when!!! Heres a septic attack against you!!! Hahaahahahahahah!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

But then again, ask yourself, why did not big papa rex care? I think its that whole bond between mother and child thing. Rip em' and display em'!!! Rawrrrr!!!! No sizing up for this one!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

I, for one, am a huge advocate of acting demure if you look like you measure your trouser size in hectares. PLEASE dont sit on me!!! And if you cant act, fake!! And if you cant fake, become a lead farmer!! Or fly me to the moon... Is it really that hard? I mean, Laika did it, and shes still ok (although shes dead, I hate dog years!)

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

How is it atrocious? Whence is it not? Will these cretins from the denizen Ooglah ever be excreted back into the sewers whence they came from? Or shall Doraemon do it? Aung Aung Aung, Aung eneh maaney suci, tora ey, maamu!!!

The Isygonisms of Stigma

Whence will the voices in my head stop their awesome hip-hop beat themed rap music?!!! And when will the everlasting cornfields be replaced with rice? I hate maize!!!

Me!! I know who I am! I'm the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude! You the dude who don't know what dude he is!!!

Yeah, and then some more. Yes suh! When I was in the army, you boys in luck, I used to cook us up a great crayfish dish, yes suh!!! (use Robert Downey Jr's accent in Tropic Thunder)

Tagged ya!

Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

It has come to mine attention that some somnambulists are against the advent of comfy pillows. Why the discrepancy between the merger of Slumberland and the sandman? Wouldn't it be a boon for such organisations? Unless you get ninja shurikens involved.

Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

The other day, I was at a Government Department with Fere, and of all things, efficiency was on the menu! Twas' quite a surprise, friendliness was as well! Boycott the KL Monorail! They have done me a great injustice! Heres to the development of sugarcoated roads and banana peels on the Dusseldorf!!

Wheres my chains??!!
Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

I saw a watch the other day, but it looks like something a mighty morphine power ranger might buy. And then, Godzilla in the form of Jazmin stomped in and ate the UMobile CEO whilst he was giving his uplifting talk on his website. Sooty, its Mr. Pink-Whistle!!!

Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

Why should anyone want to finance terrorism? Just accept the fact that he is one! And then suppost the American courts! But no death threats please, we're civilized. Just look to Vietnam when the French invaded, and also Guantanamo Bay. 'I'll support you, bu whence you have resources, take Lez Grossmann's advice!!'

Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

Back to the topic at hand. Which is the development of sustainable facial hair renewal techniques for koala bears. It seems that unkind persons have used them as facial towels, coarse ones, of course, leading to permanent incontinence. Yeowchhhh!!!!

Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!
Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!
Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

Ahhh, Dorothy, how you do advocate hatred and strife. I personally feel that she deserved a less violent ending. Hast thou ever noticed how violent old poems are. Jack breaking his crown, humpty dumpty breaking into a million pieces, the history behind ring around a posy, rock-a-bye baby... man....

Wheres my chains??!!
Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!
Wheres my chains??!! Wheres my chains??!!

I like Enid Blyton books, and I do NOT and WILL not believe that Annie Sullivan was mean to her! So there!!

Wheres my chains??!!

Like a passing breeze in the wind, quoth the Raven, nevermore!!!

Cheers!

Me!! I know who I am! I'm the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude! You the dude who don't know what dude he is!!!

Yeah, and so do you! Would you believe that a guy with a face as beautiful as mine buttocks is going to get married to a girl whom is even sweeter than the oh-so cliched apple pie (except that in this circumstance, no cliche and/or description could fit better)? And he's not just ugly, he's fat, has a HUGE beer gut, smokes, is butt ugly, is short, is about as intelligent as a doorknob [which the judges are still undecided upon, they ('handsome' and the doorknob) tied in the last round, hence, the ABOUT], is butt ugly, and, oh yeah, is a no-good deadbeat.

A real keeper no doubt. Ah, what possesses people at times, I cannot fathom. It must be his 'sparkling' personality (which exists exclusively in the 8th dimension of the constellation Zlorg, and no where else).

No chains for the above, tis beyond me.

Me!! I know who I am! I'm the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude! You the dude who don't know what dude he is!!!

Just thought a little anecdote from an excellent movie would cheer you, mine reader, up, after the harrowing news above. (Did I mention that he's BUTT ugly?)

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

When will the freons be molded onto mine head? And do you remember the cartoon Bonkers? Man, that was a hoot!

Can a destroyer ever be part of the Solar System? Would Mercury be ever so kind to step aside and allow for such misgivings of the centuries??

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Wife-beaters should be drawn and quartered, would you not agree? If you do not, take Lez Grossman's advice to the Flaming Dragon gang, but make sure you take a step back first. Would'nt want you hurting yourself (just kidding, I actually would).

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Why should I want a replacement if the product I just received has plastic attached to it? Its FOOD! Would'nt a similar replacement be made with the same 'exacting' standards? Give me my refund!

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Why do we seek senseless things, like beauty that fades? I would MUCH rather have a companion whom can hold a proper conversation than one which is an airhead, a mere 'floozy' (apply Jack Black's accent in Nacho Libre for full effect). Would you not?

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!

Cantankerous behaviour, thats what we have to stop! Conversation, replace all humans with dogs! Rawwrrrrrx3!!!

Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!
Wheres my chains???!!!Wheres my chains???!!!
Wheres my chains???!!!

The Vehicular Dissection of Contortionists

Surprise..... Get that corn outta my face!!!!

Yeah, I would be angry too if I had been insulted by two old men in front of a super beautiful nun I was secretly in love with yet could never hope for due to mine's taking of the vows of celibacy.

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

The other day, a thud was heard in my garden. It turned out to be a pile of turd from the Domino's Pizza call centre, more well known by the Latin term of Turdicus Biggius Shiftus Leaderius. This species of turd is rare, and it delights in mindless verbs, senseless mumbling, and totally antiquated procedures (think the Neolithic Age and a monkeys your uncle).

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

I was approached by a person the other day, whom asked for some pittance. Not the emotional kind, the other one...the type that really hurts where it matters most (for those still uninformed, the wallet). Caught in a conundrum, I sprang into action, hung up on our best customer, and worked on the Mission Statement like there was no tomorrow!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Why should I pay you to work if you enjoy it so much? Whence will company's learn that, to really appreciate your employees, you dont need any fancy schemes to improve morale, just pay us more and let us off earlier! Morale boosting exercises usually bring about the opposite, especially if turd-faced bosses get involved.

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!

I would love to become a pro-wrestler, but then again, yarn is so much fun! And since we're all for the dolphins, that could be my name, Tortoise Man, and his hairy chest! (Yes, I am a man, only twenty days till I turn 20!)

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Why is 4-4.30p.m. slated for guest arrival? Why not 4.29? And why did Gary stop me in Maybank? Was it because I was snazzily dressed? I would suppose so... Why else would he think I'm a working man? Why?!!! Why????!!!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Some things are best left unexplained, eh uncle? Or auntie? Should that be with or without whipped cream?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Anecdotes from Brigadier General Zlorg of the 8th Dimension

And then, there were none. At least thats till they managed to breed Khaki ducks. Now all we have would be fewer apple snails. And mud. I have always been against the proliferation of confetti as opposed to the inauguration ceremony(ies) of bengal tigers. The latter I support. As do I the former.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Can mankind ever lose out to birds? If so, why are some hawks bigger than kittens? And why the inadvertent obsession with a rural Japanese town with a special name? Will he, wont he,Will he, wont he, will he adopt the town? (sung to the tune of 'Will you join the dance?') Yes said the Porpoise, I will.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Why do people dare take the risk of travelling in aeroplanes? Isn't it dangerous sitting in a big metal box, which weighs more than my house, and is propelled by millions of chemical reactions? Add to the equation the fact that any small human or mechanical error could cause a glorious eruption of fire and fuel! Haha, gotcha thinking, did'nt I?

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Did you ever consider the effects which would be brought about by an increase in the production of artificial hips? Companies would employ hip-breaking thugs, just to increase revenue! Gahhhh!!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Should the third dimension aliens ever arrive, tell them that a left at Planet Zotan, and straight on till Nexus VV-53 is what they would want. And probably need as well.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Can a destructive monsoon bring about the end of the reign of plastic and metal? I would think so. Unless a truckload of piranhas would be able to avert such a crisis. I hate those meat-eating hamsters.

Jumping Jehosaphats! I just estimated the arrival of cockroach-friendly squirrels, but whom are, quite unfortunately, people-haters. And they have laser weapons and are three times our size. No bushy tails, sorry. Only little stumps, which gives them a really bad personality. Pure evil, these rodents.

Better get your chains ready for the invasion of the balls of hail! And if that doesn't kill you, Readers Digest jokes will!

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

The Cerebral Settings of a Neanderthal

Yeah, well, most of you readers do look like the excellent one on the left. Not that I have anything against ugly people. Sometimes, it just feels so hard to be so privileged. Sigh....

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

And to those readers whom think that this blog is one which makes snide remarks at them, whilst veiling it under the cover of obscurity, please, dont flatter thineself. Devan, this applies specifically to you.

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!



And yes, I did actually met a guy nnamed Ravi, he did actually speak to me about the baboon's butt, and he did actually think hes a big hulking deal. I met him at a contest event.

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

But now, on to the important issuses that really determine whom oneself is and will be, twelve years from now. Did you know that fish may one day rule the world? As well as cockroaches and rats? That is, if evolution was to continue, and history was to repeat itself.

Heigh-ho the asteroids back!!!

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

Can pizza fake an accent? I know advertisements can, and frequently do. Its PER-OW-DOO-A, not PHER-OW-DHU-A!!!! Stupid voice-overs, we all know you're a Malaysian with a fake accent, even the cats do!

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

Can a coat hanger come with the Admiral series? Or does it work the other way around? And can mankind ever learn to respect the gravity of severance pay? Should we all turn into mindless dolts? (For those of us not one yet)

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

People are not all that intelligent. After 20 years, I can safely say that we all blunder through our lives, hoping not to get chewed on by some rabid mouse.

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

Heres to you, Neanderthal man and/or woman (note the AND).

Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!Wheres my chains???!!!!

The Essence of Edgar Allen Poe

I just realised, my posts are reminiscent of Edgar Allan Poe. He enjoys writing stuff that most humans dont understand as well!! Awesomeness and fame are in my future!! (Although I believe Poe died a penniless madman...)

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Spank you very much, said the Evil Pizzaman

And then he did exactly that. What would life be if we were to work better ergonomics into every situation? Would jaybirds (ahh, birds after me own kindly heart) finally come out of hiding, and bless the world with their wonderful song and dance routines?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Can a bird be equated with sugar tablets? Maybe, in terms of ants. Calorie values, that is. Then how would Equal fit in? Isn't that quite the conundrum to ponder upon during your porcelain cruise?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Why is it uncool to be a chain-lover? Everyone has an opinion as regards how chains are to be taken care of. Well I say "No tabasco sauce for me please, I'll have it with salt!!" to them, so there!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!

If a loser is told to go get a job, would he cease to be a loser? Bad advice I suppose, from Mr. Enzo Ferrari to the owner of Lamborghini, eh? How abot books, where do they fit in then?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

The Quintessential Charisma of Grovelling for Cheese

When I take a walk downtown, I usually do not buy cheesesticks, but I should make a mental note to do so. The barbecue sauce always tastes better when the bantamweight division wins in a no-holds-barred rock-paper-scissors match. Would you not agree?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

For the unadvised solicitor, I would assume professional help from a fishmonger is forthcoming. Its terribly therapeutic, and not only does it provide you with all the necessary doses of Omega-3 oil, its also cheap, and the competitors fish do not have it! Book now and book early to avoid disappointment!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Can a bit of skin wrapped over bone ever replace a human being? It would be possible if the Terminator was to be taken seriously. They walk amongst us, BEWARE puny human!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Should I change the colour of my computer screen? Or should it stay as cranky as it is? Would a hand crank be of use in averting bouts and fits of clandestine-like, chivalrous operations. Hopefully, for your sake, at the very least.

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

School busses are painted yellow for a reason. To warn yaks of their impending doom. Let me explain. Its all in the baboons butt. (Refer to past weblog for explanation)

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

And what about cow-bells? Or even tinkerbell??!!! Does she EVER get respite from Peter Pan, the spoilt brat of a fairy? HMMMMM???!!!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Why do we drown ourselves in vats of acid coffee, and then blame it all on the humble, hardworking tapir. (I love tapirs, although they bite viciously, vile humans!) Should we really let it go to the dogs, and see how well they govern? Heres my vote for circumventing horses from attacking cats!

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Maestros at chef school learn how to cook. So what about cordon bleu chefs? Do they eat raw fish, or raw shrimp cocktails? What is a catfish doing in my garden?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!
Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!
Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

I like eating curry. And I know you do too, no matter how much you deny it.

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

Can a drunk be a teetotaller? And can a gunny sack be used to transport arms? Yes to both, I would say!! What say you then, dear Sir and/or Madam?

Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!! Wheres my chains??!!!Wheres my chains??!!!

The Fantabulous Festoon of Avarice

Can we meet the deadline? Or shall we enlist the help of the National Guard in tackling the giant bee menace? What shall we do Guv'nor??!!! How shall we defeat the forces of evil whilst still making it in time for bagel boy buns on cheap Saturdays! Happy New Year guys! And yes, it does rain fish near cemeteries at night, even on Saint Augustine's birthday.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

How do we extract socks from cats? And why do teachers give us windows for entertaiment? Can lazy eye be cured, or should we continue the search for robust motor-electronics and penicillin? Or did George Washinton liberate the countdown crops already?

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Tanks are the ultimate scooter driven pleasure. They are heinous from an interior designing fairy's viewpoint, but then again, a carpenter would not take such issues into account, would he? What about the lawyer and inevitable doctor whom should get involved as well??

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Or as they say in the west, 'HAND TOWSSED pizza please!! And deliver to Jaran Berimbing, if possibre, send to my office, because there got no rock on the door!' And maybe some more.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Kudos to my blog followers, without whom, this blog would still be possible, as I dont quite care as to whether I care as pertains whether you or any other cool, hip and intelligent blogger (terrible oxy-moron, that) reads this spiel. Which means I do not not not care. A triple negative. And they say a double negative is a no-no. Well I say 'pish-tosh' to that.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Can a mitre ever replace a John Deere hat? Or vice versa? I would think maybe, if we were to a

ll become left wing liberals. And then some more. How about the extent to which mankind should repay red-billed woodpeckers and red-eared slider terrapins for the terrible lack of seafood which we provide them with? Ahha, betcha never thought of THAT now, did'ja?

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Could cheap thrills ever replace the serenity of a tax evasion summons? Probably. But you be the judge as regards whether Federal Operatives chasing you is comparable to some lousy playground ride. I think the answer to that would be quite obvious. Down with syndicated lemonde machines and big-time Krackers!

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

The Extent of Mortifying an Exoskeleton

When I say mankind, you say demagogue! When I say pontoon, you say boatswain! (pronounced boh'sun, you silly landlubber) How do freelancers work? Do you think that the armor and the chinks which they adopt and keep in their basements keeps the toast warm? Or would that be the jelly bunnies lurking up behind you, ready to punish you for all your misdeeds?!!!!

Wheres my chains??!!!! Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Mastery of cats will bring about the liberation of Cat Kahuna. And what about Jeremy Clarkson? Should he be imcarcerated for his various, heinous pressed wifebeater singlets?

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Freedom comes at a price, but if that price was to be the evisceration of grass balls, would that really be such a bad thing? Tell me then, dear Sir, and pray make haste. Not Hansel and Gretel. Overpower the wicked Witch of the East, and if possible the Great winds of the North Sea as well.

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!
Wheres my chains??!!!!

When chains were manufactured, this blog actually made sense. It still does, you just have to read between the lines. And take me literally on this, although I cannot guarantee that that would make sense. Or would it?? (Cue mysterious music)

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Can the ravings of a hen be considered literary classics? And should we be liasing with interterrestrial beings at the sake of chicken and beef sandwiches and biscuits? Why aren't humans equipped with powerful paws and opposable thumbs as WELL???

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Can a fish be held liable in court for contempt? I think so, especially if the whale (a mammal, by the way) was to not encourage it to testify. Maybe a bass, but not a swordfish. Or maybe even the mako. Now THAT would be intensely and jealously guarded!!

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

Gourds are quite the interesting creation. They hold water and cinnamon sticks, but you already knew that. And what about the pronunciation of cats?? Should someone NOT adhere to the strict rules of gravity??!!! HMMMMM!!!! Ponder upon that, evil genius!!

Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!Wheres my chains??!!!!

The Fundamental Innings of Lopsided Ears

Can a man be created out of crates? I would think so, based upon the fact that Honda has cars and we have cats. Some privileged ones, anyway. The electric chair is quite the roast, isn't it? Would you like that charbroiled or well-done then, sir?

Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!

Paddles are meant for crazy persons to make chickens cluck. And why dont birds cluck? Don't some of them make the same sounds?

Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!!

The English persons variety of the guillotine would be the apple pie killer. Does Thomas Alva Edison understand the extent of his tenacity?

Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!

Can dynamite blow tea up? And what happens if we CAN create electricity? Would it be an end to humanity as we speak of serpent warriors whom roam the streets of Harlem and MAYBE your backyard??!!!! HMMMMMM!!!!!

Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!!

Wheres the battle for the final spot? Can the Chinese Dam's whale eat people, and if it is a whale, HOW does it survive in fresh water??!!!

Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!
Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!

Would you pay 2,000 for a Submarine? I know I would!!

Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!! Wheres my chains?!!

The Lenses of Pasturia and Catman and Dogwoman

When I was incarcerated, I learnt to knit and shout INTTTHE ARSENAL!!!!! And then, there was a campus like dreg animal that conspired for futsal to be cohorted. AND SYNDICATED.


Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!


Today, my blog was questioned numerous times. Why does mankind eat fish? And why is a bumblebee, if the laws of physics were to apply in absolut, still able to fly?!!!



Because it applies the principles this cat adheres to. And it likes scientists studying it.


Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!


And what about the radiation which geese and rubber emit? We get so worked up over dentures, but not film foots.


Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!




I'm manacles man and frenchie! Hampered by a destination of catsup and Justea! Can festering yeast be made bread? Yes it CAN! And we gladly eat it by the MILLIONS of tonnes!


Cheerio!

Kebaikan Memblog Dalam Bahasa Melayu

Hari ini, saya akan mem-blog, ataupun mencatitkan kehidupan seharian saya dalam Bahasa Melayu. Ini adalah usaha untuk membangunkan masteri Bahasa ini bagi diri saya sendiri.

Di mana rantai saya?!!
Di mana rantai saya?!!
Di mana rantai saya?!!

Jikalau anda mempunyai masalah dengan bank akaun anda, janganlah risau, saya pasti anda boleh memanfaatkan masyarakat dengan bergotong-royong di laman sekolah anda.


Di mana rantai saya?!!
Di mana rantai saya?!!
Di mana rantai saya?!!

Selepas dimasukkan ke akuan mentari mamak, saya telah mentafsirkan ijazah yang diberi oleh negara Lithuania yang amat mahsyur. Jikalau monyet gigit anda, pastikan anda mendapat suntikan gas babi yang amat bagus untuk kesihatan yang holistik.


Di mana rantai saya?!!
Di mana rantai saya?!!
Di mana rantai saya?!!

Saya telah memenatkan vokabulari saya, dan sekarang, saya terpaksa menghakhiri rentetan blog ini.


Di mana rantai saya?!!

Menyorak-io!

Mankind and its maestro

Yes, that is what all of us will eventually look like in 50 years. I have not omitted women. They too will look like him. In fact, I know of some that already do.

Wheres my chains?!!!!

Todays discussion will be on the importance of coffee and its potential life-threatening cats syndrome which in effect will be bombastic enough to bring characters from Dilbert to life and consign a crate of oranges to Heck and allow us all to do the macarena and Limbo with Grim the Grim Reaper, and if theres time, knock on the door of Rotiboy and catch some slogs for breakfast. If they don't catch you first.

Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

The paragraph before the last made NO SENSE at all. If you read it, kudos to you and your cat Mittens, which carries out (the cat, not you) extensive market research. At least according to the dingbat on your shoulder.


Made you look.

Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

I like oil and all its slipperiness. How does procrastination affect humanity? If Alfred Nobel had procrastinated, and not invented dynamite, we'd all be living in caves, but hey, there'd be no wars WITH EXPLOSIONS! Arnold Schwarzenegger would never have starred in Terminators 1-3, and Sylvester Stallone would not speak as though he's Marlon Brando in the Godfather.

Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

Maklimus terriensus finickinus. Sounds like latin, but I made it up.

Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

Why do we communicate? Is it our large brain? Does it speak to us, thus leading us into speaking with others? If that was an argument, why don't whales speak back? (Unless they DO! It's just us whom have'nt been able to interpret!)

Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

Here it is again.

Don't know why there's a pcture of a crazy clown here, but if you must know, this is Sweet Tooth, a psychopathic murderous clown. He is also the star of the Twisted Metal series. He is my friend and compatriot, although he's stuck in a video game.


Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!


Yeah, its his favourite quote too. And he'll eat your brains out.


Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!


Bruce Willis is awesome. He's bald.


Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

Why don't I make sense? I would like to, but its just too much work. I'd much rather write cryptic, hidden messages for the aliens reading this to interpret, years from now when we're all looking like this.


No, its not faecal matter, you loony fish cat. Or cat dog, if you'd prefer. Maybe flish. Its some kind of food. dont know what though.

Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!Wheres my chains?!!!!

Cheerio!

Cantankerous Behaviour, Its My Choices Is the Is the Is!!!!

I was listening to geese on the TV the other day, heres how it went...

Honk! Honk! Honk! (Violent hand gesture, wing flying back)

Honk! Honk! HONKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! Adakah ini yang sepatutnya! HonKK!!!

I suppose you could guess that this is Karam Singh Waliah...

Wheres my chains?!!!

I was skating down Meadowhall the other day whilst listening to Christmas tunes, when all of a sudden, the ice broke.

Wheres my chains?!!!

Thats what I shouted. As luck would have it, Malaysia has no snow, so the pond was fake. I was actually inside a teriyaki bar. Yeah, cool sushi man.

Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!

And then there was this dude at the mamak store, he said, "Dude, get some diapers!" I said, "Dude, go get some glasses! We're in Malaysia! Its not California, surfer dude!" then he agreed, shaved his hair off, and is now officially part of Gerak Gerak Gerak Khas!!!!

Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!

And for the coup-du-grace, I think I'll end with a song. Rasmus, Marasmus, dan Form Six, kalau tak careful, nanti ada kebakaran semasa saya di Form 6 ya.

Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!

I choose oligarch tea as well.

Cheers!

The Payasam man and Bread

Have you ever stopped and taken into account the similarities between the Payasam man and bread?

Wheres my chains?!!!

I think its time for some senseless rambling. Whence for art thineself, Juliet? It is the handphone of destiny, and Ravi the titan shall save us from the plague that is red-butt baboons with his trusty M-16 and his military commando training!

Wheres my chains?!!!

Another issue bothering this chain lover would be the gasses which make bananas ripen. this notorious gas is called ethylene. I dont know how its all that notorious, as said by Mufasa from the Lion King, "Simba, we come from the grass, and when we eat the antelope, the antelope head-butt us, and as such, we go into comas and sing 'Karupu Chattei' with superstar Sarath Kumar and then take on Pakistani terrorist scum with 'vann-mann-yarmy' (one man army, for you non-indian accent interpreters) Vijaykanth whom looks like a puffed up goldfish on fat-roids.

However, note the girl hes dancing with. 100 bucks says shes half his age. Go superstarrrrr Vijaykanth!!!!

Ahh, the many facets and faucets and what-not-cets of jealousy. Fret not Rajinikanth, through proper training, hair-transplants, and maybe a set of cool sungalsses, YOU too can look like Vijaykanth!

Res ipsa loquitur ya'll, the event shall speak for itself! And for all you Latin illiterates, to quote my cousin, its Jacobus!

Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!

Man, I've got TWO assignments due, and here I am doing this! Ooops, lil' slice of reality slipped in there... This should take the sting outta THAT!

Cheerio!

The Importance of Curtains

Curtains, as we all know, are an integral part of everyday life. Chains are related to them as well, as, without chains, curtains would not hang.

Wheres my chains?!!!

Another issue of grave importance would be the innoculation of human beings. Is it not high time that we developed something to innculate ourselves with. This will take time! Ini akan mengambil masa!

Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!

Do you ever feel, at times, that Western culture is being imposed upon us Easterners? I mean, c'mon, I dont need High School Muscial to do well! Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!

All I would need would be the intelligence located within the baboon's butt!

Wheres my chains?!!!

To end this weblog, I would like to quote my favourite crazy warmonger Kratos, the Son f Zeus... 'Turn back beast!!! You dare defy the God of War!'

Wheres my chains?!!!

And heres a nugget of wisdom for you, when you shine your shoes, always bend over, so no one sees you doing so in public. And remember, stay in school sp you will know how to read which side of the road to jump whence headlightsapproach!

Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!
Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!

Cheerio!

The Psyche (pronounced sy-kee) of Today's Youth

Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!! Wheres my chains?!!!

Alright, this is a post very dear to me, as I think it is one which needs addressing today... The PSYCHE of today's youth! (and by youth, I mean any person in the age group ranging from 16-20)

After extensive research, comprised of a bench featuring prominent academics such as Myself, Myself and Dr. Mineself, this information is coming to you raw and unbridled.

Wheres my chains?!!!

After years of observation and study, this is basically what today's youth is obsessed upon;

1. A Boyfriend or Girlfriend

2. Handphone

3. Being online

4. To appear 'COOL' amongst their peers. This usually (almost always) involves laughing, talking, joking, smoking, and/or cursing the loudest in public places amongst a group of friends whom will cackle along not knowing exactly what's going on [the above four 'COOL' acts are not mutually exclusive, are interchangeable, and can be combined].

Ta-da!! Boiled down to four simple must-haves!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!Wheres my chains?!!!

Here would be an example of a conversation between today's members of youth, garnered after years of observation and reels of records;

(Note that CAPSLOCK indicates speaking in extra loud voices, specifically intended to attract members of the opposite gender)

[Upon sitting down or whilst standing up and 'Wassuping Homies'] Wei, F******,, how la? PONTENG A? (Played truant?) [Speaking to the waiter] Bang, swee chia satu! (Bro, bring me an iced tea)

Wheres my chains?!!!

[After receiving order] Wei F*****, got a smoke a? [Upon receiving the fag, and friend cracks a stupid, imbecillic joke] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WEI, F******, YOU D*** FUNNY WEI! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Wheres my chains?!!!

Ahh, just had to say that. Feel much better now.

Alright, time for some random, made-up facts. Go ahead, quote me on this. Just know that I'm lying through my teeth (save for the last fact).

Rainbow trout fart is good for your eyes.

Donkeys make excellent pen pals.

The youth of today are egotistical, self-centred psycophants.

I will break you in-half.

Cheerio!

The Baboon's Butt

"You see, its all in the baboon's butt,"

The above statement basically sums up the entire universe. Everything we stand for, and everything which we know, understand, and shall (ever) understand can be summed up in all totality by these great 8 words.

"You see, its all in the baboon's butt,"

If you were to completely devote yourself to these 8 words, you would see your world opening up. These GREAT words were elucidated to me by the great world-traveled-and-wearied sage, Mr. Ravi aka the non-sleeper for 7-days whom woke up beside a baboons butt once after he actually did get some sleep.

The origins of the great sage Ravi would not be important, but, it should sufice to say that he existed from the time of the titans.

He was, in fact, the script writer for the great Kronos in the game God of War 2, and it was the great sage Ravin whom penned the popular phrase of Kronos', "Our destiny has brought us together, Warrior."

Wheres my chains?!!!

Needless to say, the great sage Ravi has outlived the titans, and now walks amongst us. This lover of chains was blessed enough to be imparted upon a nugget of wisdom by his Most Excellency.

Wheres my chains?!!!

In the never-ending quest for material goods of mere mortals,the great sage Ravi assured this chain-lover that he was one whom abstains from any and all forms of worthless, trivial items. However, the great Ravi is one whom challenges 'just-for-the-thrills.'

Wheres my chains?!!!

As such, this lucky chain-lover managed to meet the great sage ravin at a publicity stunt, whereby the great Ravi was challenging, merely for the fun of TRYING (note the emphasis!), to win a car.

After repeated assurances of his endurance (RE: Sleeplessness for 7 days), the great Ravi crashed out after 30-minutes. His loss was indeed humbling (for us mere mortals, not him, as it shows us that even sages have limits), but it is assured that the great sage Ravi is right now handling an M-16 in Russia, whilst being attacked by baboons with red butts.

"You see, its all in the baboon's butt," was a secret he revealed to this chain-lover pre-challenge, and is now one which I impart upon thineself, dear reader.

"You see, its all in the baboon's butt," Let these 8 words guide your life, and always remember the great Ravi.

Wheres my chains?!!!

The Tenacity of D

The Tenacity of D An ode to the letter D...

Where for art thou, letter D? It is the east, and the letter E, is the sun!Quoth the raven nevermore!

Alright, time for the second blog posting, you loony landlubbers! As I am my own greatest fan, today's post will be dedicated, as you can tell from the header, to the letter D.

Where's my chains??!!!

Why the letter D, you may ask? Well , in my last posting, the letter D was the only letter with the tenacity and cool factor 10 balls-rating to omit itself from my post (Re: The word 'Sunderlan"D"')

As such, in relation to all things chain-like, the letter D is, AMAZINGLY, shaped like one of the links which a chain is made up of! Where's my chains??!!!

As such, the correlation between the letter D and world history should also be made here, to further emphasize my point. Denmark, has great footballers (alright, not that great, but better than the USA anyway). Deutschland, has World Cup winning champs!

Where's my chains??!!!

Donkeys were critical in the building of the pyramids! (I made that last fact up) Dick Dastardly was always plotting the Downfall of the world. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!!!Where's my chains??!!!

Dreams brought us where we are today! Dust is what we will turn into when we Die! Defeat is a word!Where's my chains??!!!

And finally, the icing in the Dumb cake, Dolphins are safer thanks to the Destruction of Dumb Donkeys like Dick Dastardly and Doyle whom plotted the Downfall of the Dolphin community by doing away with pyramids and king heroD!!Where's my chains??!!!

I should getta job man...

Where's my chains??!!!

Alright yo, this be like, you know, like, a blog. Its like, dedicated to the love which bonds people and the chains that lock their homes.

A large portion of this blog will be devoted to chains, and all chain-based information, including chain-letters, chain-mail, chainsaws, and, to a certain extent, chagrin (the most latter portion will mostly be 'enjoyed' on your part)

As many of you knowledgeable readers (sarcasm dripping, mind you) might know, chains are an integral part of any house protection system. It prevents thieves from entering and provides owners with an overall sense of wellbeing.

Chains are a blessing, and it may be said that, for old people whom task themselves (or should I say pride themselves?) on locking up their houses with chains, chains are a God-send.

If you agree with the drivel above, and have actually bothered reading till this point, you are the biggest loser I (may) know. Cheers!

P.S. ManU NEARLY drew with Hull City, Chelsea just hammered Sunderlan 5-0, and Liverpool's goning to be playing Tottenham soon. Huzzah!